


Fools Marry for Love

by Maeve_of_Winter



Series: Married in Vegas [1]
Category: The Trixie Belden Mysteries - Julie Campbell Tatham & Kathryn Kenny
Genre: Dan Mangan: Human Disaster, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M, Woke Up Married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1992039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeve_of_Winter/pseuds/Maeve_of_Winter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College graduates Dan and Mart wake up in Vegas to find they've married. Mart is agreeable to the idea. Dan wants a divorce.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fools Marry for Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Never Marry for Money (You Can Borrow it Cheaper)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/194262) by [hapakitsune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hapakitsune/pseuds/hapakitsune). 



> This is a short snippet based on the Jixemitri prompt of "first love," and along with the other part is the series, is essentially a rough draft. I hope to one day expand these pieces into a longer fic, and then possibly a series focused around the adult Bob-Whites, but I have some other projects I need to finish first.
> 
> I welcome constructive criticism on all of my works. If you want to leave a comment, that's perfectly fine, but if you'd prefer to send a message, my email is goldphoenixrising@yahoo.com.

" _I am Locutus of Borg. You are Borg_."

Light is falling across his face. It feels like dozens of needles jabbing through his eyelids.

" _I am Locutus of Borg. You are Borg_."

The mattress feels odd. Stiff. Very firm. Impersonal, maybe?

" _I am Locutus of Borg. You are Borg_."

That's the text tone for Mart's phone. Mart's here?

Cracking his eyes open, Dan sits up in a tangle of sheets, dimly realizing he's still fully dressed. His temples throb, his throat burns, and his muscles ache. The room around him is only vaguely familiar- right, it's their hotel room. He and Mart are in Vegas with a few of their fraternity brothers, celebrating their graduation from college. Last night is a hazy blur- Dan doesn't get drunk frequently, but when he does, he gets plastered. Thank God he has fast recovery and hangovers are never all too painful.

" _I am Locutus of Borg. You are Borg_."

Mart's getting a lot of texts considering that it's only- Dan checks his watch- eight fifty-seven in the morning. He moves to find Mart's phone so he can switch it off, but when he shifts, a piece of paper crinkles from beneath him. Grabbing the paper, he has to squint to get his vision to focus on the words. Then he has to blink several times to ascertain he's not somehow misunderstanding the text.

It's a marriage certificate. And accompanying his own name is Mart's name.

"Jesus Christ," Dan mutters. Was he really that wasted that he got married last night? He needs to clear his head. Showering sounds like a good idea.

The room tilts slightly as he stands, but Dan manages to stagger to the bathroom. He finds Mart sprawled in the bathtub, asleep. Dan promptly kicks him out.

"Move," he tells Mart, hauling him out of the tub. "I need to shower. Also, we got married last night."

Mart yawns and stretches, not responding to Dan's remark beyond a skeptical look. "Have you got any idea where my phone is?"

"It's back in the room. While you're in there, take a good look at our marriage certificate." Dan pushes him through the entryway and shuts the door behind him. After peeling off his socks, he turns the water as cold as it will go, and steps into the shower.

Mart barges in barely five minutes later. "Are you okay with this? This random, unplanned marriage thing?" He pauses and frowns. "Why are you showering with your clothes on?"

"I don't have the energy or inclination to take them off," Dan informs him flatly. "And no, I hadn't wanted to get married. Especially not during a drunken blackout in Vegas at a drive-through chapel, like some romcom cliche. I never thought I'd say this, because I firmly believe in the equal treatment of all people regardless of their circumstances, but damn Nevada for legalizing gay marriage."

"I was drunk, but I don't think I was as drunk as you were," Mart says thoughtfully. "I can remember what happened- well, some of it."

"Fantastic," Dan replies, sarcasm rife in his voice. "With any luck, you'll find our divorce just as memorable." 

Mart seems annoyed. "Look, I know neither of us really intended for this to happen, but am I really such a bad choice of spouse?" His tone is somewhat miffed. "I'm a decent person, I have a college education behind me, I have mortgage-free property in my name- my great uncle willed me his house when he died. And," Mart adds triumphantly, "my grandparents were very old-fashioned, so they left an inheritance to whichever grandkid who got married first."

"Wonderful," Dan remarks dourly. "You can use the money to hire a good divorce lawyer. Save yourself the trouble of delaying the inevitable."

Mart's eyebrows rise. "Oh, so that's what this is about."

"Look, you remember how it was for me in high school." Dan turns the tap, warming the water till it's only icy cold rather than Arctic cold. His life during high school is not a memory he cares to revisit, but he should at least explain his stance.

"Yeah." Mart nods. "You were extraordinarily promiscuous to that point that our classmates suspected you had a mental illness. Borderline personality, or bipolar disorder. You went from one girl to the next as though they were disposable, and when you weren't dating someone, you were hooking up with three different girls in one day."

"When I wasn't hanging off of you, you mean." Dan sighs. "Look, Mart, there's a reason I never wanted to ever be 'officially' together during either high school or college."

A pause drags on between them seemingly forever, and Dan swallows. He's never before acknowledged any insecurities about the relationship between Mart and him.

"A lot has changed since high school," Mart finally replies.

"Not between us," Dan says with finality. "And not as much as I would have liked to have changed."

Mart is silent.

A sudden jitteriness swells within Dan. "I'm still no good with romantic relationships," he admits. His gaze drifts from Mart, and he instead stares at the wall. The words have an easier time leaving his mouth when he's not making eye contact. "I self-sabotage. All the time. Which is why I never gave much thought to marriage. I didn't want to watch myself destroy yet another thing that could potentially bring me happiness. And I still don't." He looks at Mart again. "Which is why divorce is the only option here."

"Yeah, um, about that . . ." Mart hesitates.

"What is it?" Dan asks warily.

"I checked my phone, and I literally have hundreds of calls and texts." A guilty expression spreads across Mart's features.

Dan's stomach sinks. "And why is that?" He forces himself to remain calm.

"When we got in earlier this morning, I updated my Facebook page while still wasted. I changed my status from 'single' to 'married.'" Mart doesn't look at him during the next sentence. "And I mentioned you by name."

Dan closes his eyes. 

"On the bright side," Mart hastens to add, "everyone has been really supportive! Moms and Dad are excited, since, y'know, I'm the first one of their kids to be married. They want to have a ceremony and celebration down at the farm so the whole family and all the people we know can take part, and I said I'd run it past you. What do you think?"

Somehow, Dan manages to resist the urge to resort to violence, both against himself and Mart. "All right," he says in a voice that is surprisingly controlled. "Here's what we are going to do. I am going to take a real shower. You are going to get ready for the rest of day, and you will not return anyone else's calls or texts for right now. And then we are going to sit down and figure out what to do. Clear?"

"Sure." Mart shrugs and goes to leave, but pauses at the door. "We could make this work, you know," he says, honest conviction in his voice. "We're compatible, and we agree on all the important aspects of life. Most Meg Ryan movies suck, with _City of Angels_ being the worst of the lot, _You've Got Mail_ being the most asinine, and _When Harry Met Sally_ being the best. We both think Tauriel ended up being a pointless addition to _The Hobbit_ films due to the way her character was written, and we both think the _Star Trek_ and _Spider-Man_ reboot films lack substance. Jennifer Lawrence is an overrated actress, Jim and Trixie are better off now that they're not dating each other, and all foods can be improved with garlic. What more do you want?"

Dan stares at him, for a moment simply speechless with incredulity at his husband's lack of priorities. When he finally finds his voice, his response is not as cutting as he would like it to be. "Mart," he replies severely, "a mutual hatred of most Meg Ryan movies is not an acceptable foundation for a marriage." 

"I'm just saying," Mart says, maybe a touch defensively, before making his exit.

With Mart gone, Dan buries his face in his hands and sinks to the floor.


End file.
